Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"How come Dick always gets to be Mary Poppins?" - Paul Gorman
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Sean Martin:
Mary Poppins he ain't.
And yet, his hair was perfect.
Because dropping it to the ground wouldn't look Presidential.
Crap. I feel like Ford.
"A little help!...."
Jay:
"Terry McAuliffe sneezes after seeing the President standing in front of the words 'United States Of America.' The umbrella was recovered with no permanent damage."
Mark Mills:
After a few bad weeks things are looking up as Bush finally catches a lift in his polls.
At this very moment Michael Moore is considering which part of the conspiracy to blame for umbrella failure.
Mother Nature once again fails to get her revenge for Kyoto... even with all the hot air in Washington she can't get a decent super-storm going.
Julie C:
What's Mary Poppins got that I don't got?
Controlling the weather is more than a little like controlling terrorists.
Judy Cameron:
"Errrrrr..., Captain Kirk, I think we have a problem". Seems 'Beaming me up' is not complete".
Don Hickey:
Did you know my dad bailed out of an airplane too?
Alyx Parker:
"G.B. phone home."
Sherree Haring:
I’ve put many days of thought, hardwork and all my cognitive skills into this, and here it is: My entry for the American flag.
Frumious Bandersnatch:
"Bumble. Shoot."
Kevin McGehee:
President Bush stages another "Dumbya" photo op in hopes of tricking the Kerry-Edwards campaign into believing it has a chance.
The President demonstrates why he didn't get the title role in the Skull & Bones Society's all-male production of Mary Poppins.
The President's umbrella reacted badly to the news that the Caption Contest featuring it would be the last regularly scheduled one at Ipse Dixit.
Jeffrey Harris:
"You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows"
Daniel Bareither:
They don't just drive on the wrong side of the road... my umbrella is on the wrong side of this pole!
Kevin Jacox:
Dammit! Look what all Kerry's hot air has done to my umbrella!!!
Kevin Murphy:
"Sometimes, my umbrella openery doesn't go as planned."
"I'll be ready at the next press conference when they ask me about my mistakes."
"OK, now you pour the water in the top, and I'll make it disappear.... I don't get it, it always works for Dick."
"So much for the rain in spain falls mainly on the plane."
"Does this umbrella make me look stupid?"
"I call this my rain repeller. Sure wish it worked on reporters, too."
"Jacques, I don't get mad, I get even."
Rae:
"George W. Bush. He's not Mary Poppins, but you can trust him with your daughters."
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry: TIE!
Pierced ear? - Tanya
Maized and Confused - Chris "Spoons" Kanis
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Bill Fowler:
Using nano therapy, we transformed Al Gore into corn. Unfortunately taste tests reveal a wooden flavor.
Idiot pranksters this "All Saint's Day", targeting healthy snacks, made ill attempts at disguising their tainted treats.
Rodney Dill:
2004 Summer Thriller
Stem Cells of the Corn
Chris "Spoons" Kanis:
Exposed: How Corn Gets "Knee High" By 4th Of July.
Addict veggies avoid telltale needle marks in husks, inject between niblets.
Bill Altreuter:
Welcome to Lou Reed's Fourth of July Picnic!
Charles Austin:
I hit the city and I lost my job.
I saw the needle take another cob.
Milk silk to keep from running out.
I've seen the needle and the damage done,
Hot buttered kernels part of everyone.
But every hybrid's like a setting sun.
I've got a four cob a day habit.
The secret world ADM doesn't want you to see.
Horse Corn.
Judy Cameron:
Maaa-Maaa, I said I had sore throat... not an earache!
RHJunior:
....This is your corn on drugs.....
We put the "stoned" in stone ground corn....
Jimmy used to crack corn, but now he's trying heroin on it.
"Blood from a turnip,' Smithers, I said 'blood from a turnip!"
The treatment was a failure. Despite the regularly scheduled injections, the patient remained a vegetable.
Will Vehrs:
Michael Moore joined Iowa farmer Herman Faster in denouncing the “anything but corn” campaign.
Unfortunately for the French anti-genetic crowd, the Sudanese flocked to what they considered “medicinal corn.”
Buttering corn by injection was an idea whose time had come.
Sherree Haring:
It’s too late for adrenalin, it’s already dead... and overcooked
Midgard:
At the National Diabetes Awareness Convention, Joebob Mullens displays his concept for a removeable pancreas. His brother, Otis, having undergone the experimental procedure, could not be present.
Kevin McGehee:
In the final scene of the new cult film Corncobula, the title character is seen dying after having been stabbed through the heart by Dr. Van Syringe.
Another athlete in the Vegolympics was disqualified after this photograph was found circulating on the Internet, showing him receiving a performance-enhancing dose of high-fructose corn syrup. The athlete's sponsors at the Coca-Cola Company and Archer-Daniels-Midland declined comment.
"...and this is your corn on drugs. Any questions?"
Matthew Stinson:
The entertainment industry is abuzz after seeing this promo shot of the adrenaline injection scene in Quentin Tarantino's forthcoming all-corn remake of Pulp Fiction.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
