Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Mime really is a lot tougher than it looks. - Charles Austin
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Rodney Dill:
Kevin McGehee:
"I invented geography."
"Pick me, teacher, pick me! I know what's the capital of China!"
Al Gore flunks the Vulcan salute test.
Rodney Dill:
"We're going to do what we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world."
"...and we're going to fight global warmining in Sri Lanka and Cambodia and Brazil, and then in India, Germany and France, and then on to Washington D.C. YEEEEEAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!"
"Pardon me, over here, isn't Greenland on the map behind me suppose to be green?"
"Attention! Attention! Will every here, at this assembly, that helped create the Internet please raise their right hand."
“All right then, everyone for putting a bag over Ralph Nader’s head and beating the living piss out of him?”
OK, Kucinich, anyone for Kucnich?
OK, How about Sharpton?
OK, now how about Howard Dean, anyone for Dean?
OK, Edwards? John Edwards?
C’mon, for cripes sake, Al put your arm down you can’t endorse ‘em all.
All you Trekkies calm down, I did not say “prosper.” I was reciting the Democratic candidate mantra put forth by such men as JFK, Bill Clinton, and now John Kerry. I said, “Live long and grasp her.”
“Where did you say Chad was again?”
“I feel like the spectre of Chad is hanging over my head.”
Coming to a Personal Ad near you:
MWVPC (Married white Vice Presidential Candidate) Experienced. Seeks PWPC (Philandering White Presidential Candidate) for possible selection as running mate. Not a screamer. I’ll feel your pain.
“Yes I’m trying to curl my fingers so I can flip Beijing the bird. I just don’t do 'bend' well.”
Laura Lowe:
Hi Mom! Hi Dad!
Sean Martin:
I need to pee.
Would all those without a career left please raise their hands?
Hmmm, not being able to think of something witty for this contest makes me feel as stupid as Algore looks.
Bithead:
No, Al, the other right hand.
"I invented the whole world you see behind you."
"Ya know, I think with a little practice, I could be Queen."
James Joyner:
I did so invent the Internet, I swear!
Charles Austin:
A man without a hat sings, "We can dance if we want to..."
The Passion of the Poltergeist
Tonight on FOX: When Politicos Attack!
Erick Erickson:
Na-nu! Na-nu!
Bertram Barron:
Greetings, People of Earth.
Harry Sapp:
Awright, who farted?
D Brooks:
Raise your hand if you don't think I'm from any of these places either.
"Live long and... rant."
Samuel Henry:
How do you like my new Earth Friendly hair piece?
Ed Cashman:
The internet invention of mine was easy. Now, look at my plans for Mars!
"Excuse me, but doesn't our Globalist agenda require that the continents of this map be in red, not the oceans?"
Merlin:
"Then on the second day I said, 'Let the waters be carried into a single basin so that the dry land may appear.' And I saw that it was good!"
Brian Cost:
"I pledge allegience to the U.N., and to the corrupt set of nations that run it...."
Midgard:
First the internet, now flatulent cartography. Patent pending this time.
AK:
Live long and prosper.
The New World Order.
Al Gore announces that he is actually Salgore, an undercover Vulcan posing as a human politician before making first contact.
Brent:
VIENNA (AP) - Historians have discovered the world's only known picture of Adolph Hitler without his trademark mustache.
Gosh darn! How does Spock do that?
Emma Nalias:
Tee-achur! Georgie Bush is reading ahead in his bo-o-ok! Again!
Mark Dahley:
"The Florida project failed... but SPECTRE will return"
"Still bristling from the failure of the Florida project, Ernst Stavro Gore, Jr. plots his next attempt to take over the world"
Aaron Meck:
"I do solenmly swear to uphold my duties as President of the World-"
"Honey wake up, your talking in your sleep."
"Aw, Tipper why'd you have to go an do that again? I was having that dream where...."
Drew:
"OOO! OOO! I know! That's Earth, right?! I think I've been there, once or twice. What a trip."
"By a show of hands, how many of you feel out of place and uncomfortable on this planet? Well, then, Al, I guess we won't be sending you back."
Oil! Oil!
John Wetherbie:
Before I created the Internet I created this and I'm understandably smug about it!
Michael T.:
Al: Hi, my name is Al Gore and I'm a wishIwastheleaderofthefreeworldtheystolethatshitfrommethosefloridasonsofbitches-aholic.
All: Hi Al!
JulieC:
Over here, Minnie-Me....
Pick me! I know you're looking for powerful endorsements, Kerry.
Yes, I also served in Vietnam. It's right there at the tip of my finger.
Matthew Barrette:
"Excuse me while I feel up China..."
Rodya:
Kneel before AlGore!
Clyde Middleton:
“Mein Führer, muß ich das Badezimmer benutzen.”
(My Leader, I have to use the bathroom.)
“I have commissioned a recount, excluding all right-handed people. So, as the duly elected president of all the left-handed people in the United States, I do solemnly swear....”
“You remind me that I lost my home state of Tennessee one more time, I, for one, am gonna kick your butt.”
“Will all those that publicly endorsed Howard ‘Dr. Ho-ho Demento’ Dean’ please raise your hand.”
“As the newly appointed Ambassador for Sub-Saharan Affairs Relating Primarily to Deforestation and the Study of Extinct Primates through Fecal Remains for the great country of Sudan, I do solemnly swear...” Now where’s my UN parking pass? Look out, Diplomat coming through, diplomat walking, out of my way lady.
Pat Bettinger:
"Raise your right hand if you hand identify the continent of Japan...."
Chris O'Donnell:
Live Long and Prosper
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Vinnie knows a horse head metaphor when he sees one. His AAA membership fee would be in the mail that morning. - Kevin Cotton
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Laura Lowe:
I guess this means I'll be late for work again.
Rodney Dill:
Due to an unfortunate plumbing incident, Al and Tipper were forced to call a cab to get to Al's speaking engagement: "Global Warming - Facing The Greatest Challenges of the 21st Century."
The whole sordid affair, another democrat, another intern, yet another painful reminder, contributed little toward changing the atmosphere at number 15 Old House Lane, Chappaqua, NY.
Olga's and Ivan's state of elation, when they saw that their new Moscow Flat came with two cars and an attached garage, could best be summed up by Ivan, who said, "Yay!! Hey Olga, we got indoor plumbing!!"
"Bad dog! The F**k'n Sierra Mist commercial tryouts were last week!
Sean Martin:
The garage of Mr. Freeze.
The latest fad in cryogenics.
According to Satan's garage, the BoSox won the World Series.
Angela Lawson:
After a freak occurrence in his garage, Ralph Nadar is rethinking his position on global warming.
Karen Adams:
Teresa Heinz makes good on her promise to John.
"Hi, Mom? You know how you told me that I had to do my own laundry this weekend?"
"Hello, Porsche Service?"
This guy obviously doesn't live in Metro Detroit. You'd have about 5 guys with chisels and slim jims out there in ten minutes, even with the ice...
Charles Austin:
"Uh, hello? Triple A?"
The long term effect in North America of cutting carbon dioxide emissions to implement the Kyoto Accords.
"We're gonna take the Blazer to the store, and if the Blazer is blocked in we'll take the VW to the store, and if the VW won't start, we'll take the Porsche to the store. YEEEAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"
"Gosh darn it! Next time park the cars outside like I told you so they won't ice up!"
"Who's da Arctic U-boat commander?"
Man that sucks, but did you know Bush was AWOL?
And this is different from David Blaine's art how again?
Shift latitude.
Good thing we put the studded tires on last week.
Personally, I prefer my Porsches the same way as I prefer my scotch, neat -- no ice.
It may be cold where I live, but at least it's a dry cold.
Kevin McGehee:
The ultimate test of DieHard™'s cold-cranking power.
A little too much Turtle Wax™.
Ice Breakers Gum™ disclaimer: Not responsible for ice buildup if you chew this gum while making out in the car when it's parked in the garage.
JulieC:
The UN inspectors reveal evidence that Saddam's WMD program really was put on ice.
Someone's parents are sooooo gonna kill them!
One call AAA may not want to answer.
Time to fix the garage door opener/closer!
Alyx Parker:
"Well, at least the garage door works."
"Boy, the AAA guy is going to pissed about this assistance call!"
"Mmmm, yummy, a porche popsicle!"
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry: TIE!
Scenes from a Las Vegas unemployment line. - AK
Here at the St. Louis Zoo, we pride ourselves in housing creatures in their native habitats. Here you see four Siberian white tiger cubs housed in a 1950-ish Bauhaus-influenced Siberian housing block. If its good enough for the proles, it's good enough for the big cats. - Charles Austin
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Alyx Parker:
"Pussy Galore"
Tanya:
"Shhhh! I think I moved the bottle this time."
(with apologies to Chris Muir)
Bret Ryckmen:
"Sigfried, you're such an asshole."
Daryl Parker:
Doe, a Dear, A Fe-male Dear...
So Barry said, "It's to get the taste of the Englishman out of my mouth!"
Daniel Taylor:
He-e-ere, baby, baby, baby...
I'm tellin' ya, that bait will work a lot better with that white stuff in it.
Charles Austin:
Got milk?
Bring more babies. We'll keep returning the bottles.
The Usual Suspects -- White Siberian Tiger Version.
"Look at that lucky croc. How can I get Steve Irwin to bring his kid over here and try that?"
What's all this about endangered feces?
Rodney Dill:
Got Milk?
"What the?! Hey guys, there's no glass here!"
"Here kiddies, kiddies, kiddies."
President Bush quickly chose Tim Russert on MTP, after careful consideration on just how his appearance on the show The View might go down.
Jeffrey Harris:
"Bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal bengal... Brick Wall Brick Wall..."
Kevin McGehee:
"Get down, you idiots! If Roy sees us too soon it'll ruin the surprise!"
Laura Lowe:
If we just stand here looking cute long enough, some dummy will try to pet us and then... fresh meat!
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
The bad news is you're getting laid off. The good news is I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico. - Laura Lowe
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
FAD:
"And where does one get 40lbs of puddin'? On sale, baby."
Charles Austin:
No, I'm sorry Mr. Edwards. You do not get to voir dire the potential voters in Missouri. You do not have any peremptory challenges and a voter wearing a "Kerry" button on their lapel does not constitute cause for excusing any voters from participating in the Democratic Primary. On second thought, maybe we should reconsider that last one for the general election in November.
"I'm a wild and crazy guy!"
John Edwards asks himself again, "Why am I always the best looking guy in the room?"
"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named J. Ed..."
Rodney Dill:
Not wanting to be left out of the Presidential Space Race promises, and with Solar System real estate at a premium, John demonstrates how his administration will probe the 7th rock from the sun.
"I would like to thank the POTP organization for naming me their master of ceremonies and inviting me here this evening."
Edwards indicates the next new direction his campaign is taking.
Not wanting to be outdone by the 'cowboy president,' Edwards shows off his six shooters.
Did anyone see which way my delegates went?
"I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?" (With apologies to Benjamin Disraeli)
"One more time... 'She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini....'"
"My beliefs and values are right here at America central and George Bush's are way over to the extremist conservative right. Can you say extremist conservative .... Good, I knew you could."
Mr. President, if you're going to laugh at me like that I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
...and now we return to Edward's Q and A session.
"What hand will I use as President to make an 'L' on my forehead. That's a good question I'm glad you asked it. I believe its this ... one ... Hey wait a minute!"
"Thank you for asking. There are no dumb questions, however, there are a lot of inquisitive idiots."
(Sung to the tune of WAR - Edwin Starr)
Polls
What is they good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
Polls
What is they good for
Absolutely nothing
Polls
They's nothing but a heartbreaker
Polls
Friend only to the (media) commentator
Polls is the enemy of all mankind
The thought of Polls blows my mind
Handed down from generation to generation
Election misdirection
Who wants to lie.
Aaron Meck:
“Well, I know I can count on at least two votes this November right Mom? Grandma?”
Kevin McGehee:
"I'm just a wild and craaaazy guy!"
"Sit down, sir, or I'll shuffle across the carpet and zap you!"
"Don't mess with me - I have a law degree and I know how to use it!"
"Okay, time to choose up sides for kickball. I pick Jimmy, and Davey, and Mark - no, not unibrow Mark, pimple-face Mark. Aaaaaand ... big fat Freddy to play catcher."
Will Vehrs:
“You two see me after this rally. If this presidential thing falls through, we might have us a class action.”
Matthew Barrette:
"I'm gonna rob you blind so's I can give your money to him."
Leper Messiah:
The crowd was captivated as Edwards performed the sobriety 'follow-the-finger' test on himself."
"Edwards ended his victory speech by pointing out everyone in the state that voted for him..."
"I'm just as hip as the next white guy. Let me show you how I disco-danced back in the 70's..."
"Edwards won the talent portion of the last debate by directing an imaginary symphony playing the 'William Tell Overture' with just his fingers..."
"Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? You better be talkin' to me, as I'm the only one standing up..."
"Edwards rebukes the DJ as he seemingly lost the last round of musical chairs, explaining that he wasn't ready for the music to end."
"Seemingly oblivious to the fact that he had lulled the audience to sleep, Edwards continued to lecture on the importance of proper pointing techniques within the scope of his campaign for an additional 45 minutes..."
"...and check out those cuticles! Can anyone here say 'french manicure'?"
Daryl Parker:
I just love you guys!!!!
OK - Nobody move: I gotchez covered!
Daniel Taylor:
"What did I say earlier about hard questions? No lollipop for you."
"Pull my finger."
"This is my handle, this is my... Wait, I screwed it up again. What has two spouts?"
"I deserve to be the front-runner because I'm the prettiest."
Madame Wanda:
"Okay, guys. Which one of you wants to pull my finger?"
"Hey, weren't you the one who told me my hair plugs looked natural. Or was that you?"
Jeff Nuding:
"Now, Rich America, you've had your say, no please be quiet so Downtrodden America can have a chnace to speak!"
Michael T.:
You're a sneaky one, Mr. Russert! In answer to your question: Yes, you did see a rainbow sticker on my car. That's right, I am gay! I support the Massachusetts court decsion. And while I have the mike, can I say hi to my boyfriend Wesley? Wesley, will you marry me?
Julie C:
I can go more left, or I can go to the center.
Democrat-man can answer two questions at once... GO!
I will be a Wild and crazy guy for you!
This is too hard!
Sean Martin:
I am one wild and crrrazy guy!
Let's Hokey-Pokey!
Don't make me come over there and whoop your ass in front of God and everyone.
Look ma! I'm a conductor!
Look people, my campaign is here... I need it to be here.
5 dollars I have 5 dollars do I hear 10 dollars who'll give me 10 dollars 10 dollars right over there to the man with the bad comb-over 15 dollars do I hear 15 dollars...?
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
