Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Governor Dean sneaks out of his "victory party" because the funeral in the ballroom next door looks livelier. - Daniel Taylor
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Kevin McGehee:
Howard Dean checks to make sure no one's looking before slipping into the closet to transform once again into FRONTRUNNER MAN!!!
"First I hide in here, and then when Kerry comes by I'll jump out and yell at him and he'll keel right over, and I'll get all his delegates. Just like on that TV show "The Highlander."
"You guys want to see my Bill Clinton imitation?" (sound of zipper going down)
MO:
Dr. Dean makes his Exit, Stage Left
After receiving a lot of laughs due to his campagin style, Howard Dean takes his comedy revue to way off- off- off-Broadway.
Damn, this suit is as stiff as Al Gore.
Rodney Dill:
"Pardon me for interrupting the vote counting, but I just have to know, so how am I doing?"
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain..."
"Hello, is this the Anger Management training, they told me I should come here. I'm Howard Dean and I'm as mad as hell."
Ducktor
The duck that laid the goose egg.
duck duck duck duck of earl duck duck
C.O.B.:
Let me get this straight, you buy a piece of chicken and you get salad bar, another bar and dessert bar included? Jesus, I love Ryan's Steakhouse! YEEEAAHH!!
Daniel Taylor:
He-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-re's Howard!
Michael Waters:
"Unnoticed, the mild-mannered Howard Dean slipped away to change into his Superscream costume."
Chris O'Donnell:
Howard Dean tries, in vain, to prove that he can blend in with the woodwork.
Laura Lowe:
"Wow! I just found the secret room in the Playboy Mansion!"
Sean Martin:
Peek-a-boo!
Out of the closet.
I do not have an intern in here. See? Nothing in here.
Hey, somebody closed and locked the front door, did you forget I was coming over?
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"Now, see, Howard, when I do it, I look folksy and sincere. When you do it, you look like the Joker." - Daniel Taylor
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
JorgXMcKie:
And the rabbit had teeth how big?
Endorse me or I"ll bite you!
Really?!? I've got a stick up my ass, too!
Rodney Dill:
"...and I just loved Billy Beer... and I thought that whacking that 'terrorist' rabbit with the oar was the most presidential moment I ever saw... now about that endorsement."
"Honest, I'm safe to endorse, I don't have any personal indiscretions like that other former democratic president. Not since I got that thing with the sheep reduced to just following too close... if you know what I mean."
Past Monarch, and Heir Aberrant.
President Jimmy Carter never put much truck in no cloning of humans, until... well... there stood brother Billy in front of him.
He who gaffes last, gaffes best!
Gary Saffer:
Two idiots grinning
Will Vehrs:
Thanks, Jimmy... I think that Jesus guy just might be what I need.
Really? You can get me endorsements from Castro and Arafat?
Jimmy, your kind words have got to be worth, oh, at least 18 points to me.
You thought the caucuses were stupid, too?
Got ya covered, Jimmy. The old lady’s coming out to spend a day in one of those cow towns. That’ll shut the press up.
Lust in your heart? Was that some paperback?
Former President Carter and Howard Dean smile as they swap "Killer Rabbit" stories.
A beaming Howard Dean thanked former President Jimmy Carter for suggesting that the presidential candidate mention as many states as possible in his speeches.
A smiling Howard Dean praised the gentle, peace-loving former President Jimmy Carter. With Carter looking on approvingly, Dean promised to kick President Bush's ass, throw Attorney General John Ashcroft in jail and throw away the key, and then pistol whip Vice President Dick Cheney at a disclosed location.
Doug Moss:
No way! The Peace prize!?
Charles Austin:
Goobers.
Julie C:
"You mean if I don't win you'll build me a white house?!"
Stupid old man, you can't even name the 50 states like I can.
Just humor him a little longer, match his toothy smile, yeah, I'll get his endorsement.
Mog:
"Ooooooooo that tickles, hehehe!"
Laura Lowe:
Wow, you got Monica to be your secretary!
Matt Antoline:
"Hey, you're not from New Hampshire, so get the screeching hell outta of my way."
"You've quite the screech young man, I thought only the aquatic lepus could make such sounds."
"Oh, a doctor! Doctor, can you bring me pudding?"
"...then Rosalyn said not to come home without a campaign button. Got any left?"
In the proud heritage of Lemmon and Matthau, Randall and Klugman, we bring you....
Doctor or inpatient? You decide.
Bruce Henderson:
" You mean this campaign smile facial spasm can be permanent?"
"....and then the big bad homeless dude said, 'I'll huff and I'll puff and....."
"Are you serious? You think I want your endorsement!?"
"Don't look right now, but tell me if Farrakhan bodyguards are heading over here."
"Gore told me Barbara Walters will do just about anything for an exclusive. Is that true?"
grn beret:
If an idiot like you can be elected I guess there is hope for me! YEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Sean Martin:
Papa? Is that really you?!
As Dean looks into the eyes of Jimmy Carter, his candidacy flashes before his eyes before evaporating in a cloud of peanut fumes.
Holy Crap was this a bad idea!
(don't look panicked - don't look panicked - don't look panicked ......)
Are you Jimmy Carter or Dorian Gray?!?
Matthew:
Carter: "Howard, the first thing you should do after you get sworn in as President is visit every dictatorship you can. You'll find that dictators' wives are among the loveliest women on the planet."
Dean: "Really? Wow!"
Kevin McGehee:
"Howard, don't smile. You don't look good when you smile."
The "1st Annual Convention of Small-State Governors Whose Ambition Far Outstripped Their Abilities" convenes in Iowa.
"Hey Jimmy, wanna see my Gomer Pyle imitation? 'Well, Go-o-o-o-ol-LEE!'"
Daniel Taylor:
Welcome to the Doody family reunion.
"Like this?"
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
And with a champagne toast, they began the 25th Annual Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial Fishing Contest. - TPB, Esq.
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Sean Martin:
Clark's staffers practice their campaigning strategy.
Kevin McGehee:
"Drink up, darlin', and soon you'll lose your sturginity!"
Robert Holcomb:
"Are you sure this is as romantic as drinking from a shoe?"
Byellingsworth:
Let's get walleyed!
It's just an Odoul's. He has to swim upstream later.
Rodney Dill:
The Rules of Polish Water Polo are not largely understood due to the fact that the players imbibe nearly as much as the fish. Of course, the role of the fish is not understood either, as its presence in the game has nothing to do with winning.
Polish demonstrators preparing a Molotov Fishtail, the lesser known though more deadly complement of the Molotov Cocktail. (Which in Poland apparently involves some sort of chicken)
BREAKING NEWS... The story Disney didn’t want to tell. That Nemo was never found and his father, Marlin, took to drowning his sorrows (Which is really hard for a fish).
Now that the NFL football season is largely over, fans of teams that have been eliminated from the play-offs have felt obligated to pursue other manly pastimes.
“Let’s just give her another drink to loosen her up a bit, maybe she really is a blowfish.”
Phinster, the fish, never wonder why he was like a woman without a man, but then he didn’t know what a bicycle was either.
Piranha Polo The Amazon’s deadliest game.
Baiter apprentice, Ole, and journeyman, Sven, preparing the bait for their upcoming ice fishing trip. They both had high aspirations to be come Masters at their profession.
“Ok, since Sex on the Beach is already taken, what are we going to call this drink?”
Mack and Earl prove male camaraderie transcends the species gap as they ask, “So, what does your wife say when you come home smelling of fish?”
To speed to completion of their doctorate thesis, Evolution: Fact or Fiction, Mack and Earl skip steps of walking on land, making fire, and the invention of the wheel; and go straight to quiet desperation and drunkenness, on their last test subject.
The celebration by the Polish swim team for winning the Olympic freestyle relay was short lived as swimmer number three was promptly disqualified.
After a fifth of Tequila the fish started sounding like Howard Dean, and was immediately put down.
Having been impressed by the writings of Karl Marx, Mack and Earl attempt to find the “Opiate of the Basses.”
As and addendum to Newton’s first Law, Mack and Earl prove that A Bass at rest tends to stay at rest. (especially when in an alcohol induced stupor)
“No, No, No! I was only looking for my friend the Salmon, I said “I want to find Al Coho.”
“Come on Chug it. Don’t be such a Chinook.”
Everyone had a great time, their meeting would long be remembered as Salmon-chanted evening. [Ed. - With apologoes to Kip Addotta
Jeffrey Harris:
"Pickled Herring"
"Who'd have thought that white 'wine goes well with fish' would ever be taken so literally?"
Jack Adams:
Recipe for pickled herring... Step 1, pickle a herring...
Charles Austin:
Nah, I didn't get it either. They were drinking and got into an argument about something, row versus wade, I think.
Looks like ol' pike's drinking some newcomers under the water table.
Stay away from the brown acid.
Uisge Beatha - the water of life.
Ohmigod, is that the time? Last call!
Mr. Goggles is a two-fisted drinker-helper.
"Oh God, not another bottle of Will Vehrs' Virginia wine."
Just remember to drink plenty of water before you go to bed tonight.
Daryl Parker:
Harvard University professor's research finally finds out just what it's like to drink like a fish...
So that's what Al Sharpton's up to these days.
For cod's sake, knock that off!
Will Vehrs:
"If we drank this stuff on company time, we’d be fired."
"This damn farm treats the salmon better than the employees."
"This’ll dilute the mercury. Those FDA pricks are driving me nuts."
“Move a little closer... how do you like that tail wiggling now?”
“You need to learn to tread water with one hand if you want my job.”
In the new Aquaculture, anything goes.
Jeff Nuding:
After numerous attempts to capture these rare animal behaviors on film, divers successfully demonstrate the basis in fact of the old saying, "Drinks like a fish."
Laura Lowe:
If you think this is funny, wait until you see on dolpin on acid.
Richard Tilley:
One manimal says to another, "Dow is down. I need your dick in my fish."
Scott Helgeson:
"Scientists continue research on an improved drunk tank."
"Mmmmmmmmm! That's good bait!"</jackie gleason>
"Phase One is complete: Bring in the rabbi with a duck on his head!"
"I said 'chum', not 'chug'!"
"That fish is boiled!"
Buckethead:
Jesus, man; you weren’t kidding. You will do anything to get laid!
I guess dinner and a movie doesn’t work with fish anymore.
Okay, find some garlic and we’re ready to start cooking!
I still can’t believe you got a National Science Foundation grant for this....
bithead:
When the frat members started forcefeeding booze to the fish in the nearby river, the neighbors knew the toga party had gotten out of hand.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Steve Irwin, the world-famous crocodile hunter, is about to demonstrate buoyancy characteristics which inspired him to name his son Bob. - Scott Ott
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
BA:
"That dingo'll nevah find my baby heah."
JD Hays:
It's not what ya think. This is Jeff Corwin's kid.
Tony Hooker:
In a desparate appeal to boost his poll ratings with environmentalists and abortion-rights advocates, Democratic presidential hopeful Steve Irwin attempts to perform a late-late-late term abortion and feed an endangered species simultaneously.
Bill Altreuter:
"Michael Jackson told me to hold his baby."
Kurt Preston :
"Crocodile" - Australian for babysitter.
So this is the new DNC smear campaign: "Bush White House staffers feed orphaned babies to crocodiles."
You know, this is an apt metaphor for the Colts-Broncos playoff game.
Look son, don't be such a Shiela; I was wrestling crocs when I was half your age!
grn beret:
Hillary and Howard's new post delivery abortion process.
Daryl Parker:
FETCH!
A wild and dangerous animal in captivity: and a crocodile.
Matt Antoline:
Oh well, guess that one wasn't hungry. Maybe later.
Forget the crocodile, kid, check out these piranha.
What a baby! One look at that croc and he filled his diaper.
Yes, baby-fed gators do make for the softest luggage.
Scott Ott:
Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin prepares to feed his pet crock. When he dips that white morsel in water, it makes its own savory gravy.
World-renowned Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin acts out a scene in an upcoming public service announcement for Australia's Department of Education, Youth and Family Services.
Steve Irwin's one-month-old son, Bob, gets his first swimming lesson. The 13-foot crocodile in the foreground is a family pet who will retrieve the infant if he gets too far from shore.
Sean Martin:
Oy! Cay-ful thare lil' mate! Yore derty diper might make the crocs sick! Wouldn't want that now, would we?
Steve begins to implement strategies from the new Michael Jackson book "All The Publicity You Could Ever Want!"
There's no such thing as bad publicity, right? er....right?
Norbizness:
"Crikey! I think we both shit our grundies!"
JulieC:
Whoops, come here little fella.
Run, baby, run!
Rodney Dill:
Steve Irwin teaching his son to flee predators - like Michael Jackson.
"I said I'd feed my son to a Croc before Pete Rose would admit he gambled on Baseball."
"Oh, here's where I left you."
"Oops! My bad Mr. Carville, I mistook you for a loathesome reptile."
"I'd also show you how to make a dead baby float... but I'm fresh out of Root Beer."
"This'll teach ya to wake up from your nappy early."
"Oh you wanted me to walk the Croc, and feed the baby."
"...7....8...9...10, Yep he's still got ten toes left."
"Steve Irwin" - Australian for moyle.
"Pssst... Hey Son, since the media's givin' so much crap for this, its good thing I didn't show 'em what we both do with your mommies boobies."
"Steve Irwin" - Australian for Idiot
“Mr. Bill... Mr. Bill... Don’t let Sluggo get me...”
“I see you’ve pooped your pants. Good boy, That’s the same tactic I use to drive the crocs away”
Steve Irwin providing his son with an essential early life lesson. How to handle the Media.
“Crikey, That croc smells better than you!”
“But I thought every kid’s fantasy was to act out Peter Pan.
Q: What do you call a dead baby floating in the Crocodile Pool?
A: Bob.
"Quick, Bob, run faster or the Croc's gonna beat you to the pool".
"...And remember Sonny, they lie in the muck at the bottom just waiting for an unsuspecting prey to come along, they can rip you to shreads in seconds, and they are the most dangerous when you turn your back on them.... well enough about lawyers, now lets have some fun with these playful snappers here." [Ed. - Hey!]
Will Vehrs:
I’ll be damned if I’m changing this diaper.
Charles Austin:
"Come 'ere mate, the little ones taste just like chicken."
"Don't worry son, this is how me Dad taught me to wrestle crocs."
"Danger, danger, danger!"
"Phew, son, you need a nappy change. No wonder the crocs wouldn't come near you."
"Crikey! The deep end of the pool's a bit too dangerous for you my boy."
In a post-modern homonymic hallucination, Steve Irwin tries to answer the question: "Crocs, why do the ate us?"
"Ok son, I'm gonna give you a five second head start. On your mark, get set...."
Never smile at a crocodile, never drop your kid and stop to talk a while....
New from Nabisco for your pet crocodiles, "Kiddies and Bits."
Ike says, "Don't kick the baby."
"Hey, at least I'm not strapping bombs to my kids and sending them off to kill other people."
I'd make a comment about Collingwood, but Tim Blair would probably get me kicked off Spleenville.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"Brack men can't jump!" - Rodney Dill
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Chris O'Donnell:
Wow, I had no idea there were black hobbits.
Coming soon from Disney Films: Honey, I Shrunk The Point Guard.
BA:
Its nice to see them going with color-blind casting for Frodo in this version.
Rodney Dill:
"The courts make for strange bedfellows.
"Hey everybody, look at my new lawn jockey!" [Ed. shifts about uncomfortably....]
Will Vehrs:
The symbolism of the image relentlessly beamed from the Mainland was not lost on Taiwan.
"Man, that dude’s a giant compared to me." - Tyronne "Muggsy" Bogues
Charles Austin:
You still can't teach height.
Please note that the guy on the right is 6'4".
Yao-za, is that guy tall!
After LOTR and WETA's wizardry, who knows how tall Yao really is?
What? That looks like a traditional NBA defensive posture to me.
JulieC:
At least I know my shoes are bigger. That's what counts.
You may be tall, but I'm black, and the chicks know what that means.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
