Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Man! When a diaphragm fails, it really fails! - John Burgess
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Francis Porretto:
"All right, if you still won't confess, next comes The Comfy Chair!" [Ed. - Oh no! Not the Comfy Chair!]
Tanya:
Akira Kurisawa's estate decided not to release his last film, a low-budget remake of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.
Sklutch:
"Now little Kyanamoto, remember to thrash around a bit so that Godzilla will rise beneath you and in range of the shore batteries... the Emperor thanks you for your devotion."
"I realize, doctor, that the cloning tank is extremely new technology, but this one also looks to have a goiter problem. I want a refund."
"That's right, middle son, relax and enjoy the warm water...
In an attempt to avoid UN sanctions, North Korea announces the discovery that "heavy water" is useful to restore youthful looks and vigor. Once again Kim Jong-Il overdoes it a tad...
Laura Lowe:
I think David Letterman is getting the "Will It Float" game a little too far.
Frank Vuittonet:
But once in the bathtub, that goiter was hardly noticeable.
Daniel Taylor:
"Thirty years from now, I'll be an adult, you'll be in a rest home gumming oatmeal, and your ass will be mine."
Mark Mills:
"When I turn 14 and you show this picture to my first girlfriend, I am so kicking your ass, Dad."
"Interestingly enough, this is the second worst thing to be done to the kid... he's also in the California Governor's race."
"Sure it's cool and all but I hear next year's Inflatable Baby has a built-in MP3 player and SMS messaging."
"I bet the people from last week's contest could have used these!"
Allison Wallis:
George was very proud of his invention to minimize diaper changes - however, the floaters were a kink in the system.
SSorian:
"Lee's Cantonese Palace; Our secret ingredient makes for a hearty soup base."
"She Floats! Alas, must be witchcraft!"
"That's the worst case of ring around the collar I have ever seen!"
"Ang watched with anticipation and joy as his inflatable love doll gave birth to his first child"
nwa:
"Get used to it, kid - you're staying like that until you're potty trained."
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entries - TIE!:
"I'M ON TOP OF THE PIER!!!!" - Bruce Henderson
"Our legal reasoning is as sound as this fine vessel" -- Ninth Circuit Court - Kevin Murphy
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Tony Hooker:
Captain Hazelwood (formerly of the Exxon Valdez) decides to operate a riverboat restaurant instead.
BArmor:
Where Are They Now: Joseph Hazelwood.
The Yeti:
Orbitz unveils its disastrous new marketing campaign. 80% off!
HLN:
No, you idiots! It was supposed to be cotton in that full container load.
Daniel Taylor:
"347 passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour, a three hour tour..."
Warrior Princess:
On second thought, maybe the Red Rover game was a bad idea.
Spoons:
"This is your Captain Speaking... Mr. Moore, will you please stay near the center of the boat."
National Review Cruises: When we say we lean right -- we mean it!"
Shannon Miller:
As all the Democrats attempted to abandon their support of Gray Davis, the ship started to sink.
Joey Blabaum:
Mr. Moore, please return to your cabin in the center of the ship. A buffet is being prepared for you there.
Frank Gaines:
"I say next time we use a ramp to let the passengers disembark"
Chris Muir:
Second careers of driving school instructors.
JulieC:
So, the former captain of the Exxon Valdese DID finally get another job.
...Ohh god, I hope no one's looking.
Charles Austin:
The third Democratic Party presidential debate held on the good ship Titanic went badly as each of the candidates tried to outdo each other in a contest to rearrange the deck chairs as far to the left as possible, causing the ship to veer dangerously to port.
Looks like the terrorists are winning.
The Harbor Captain harbored deep suspicions about this Captain.
"I said I liked vintage port, not veer to port!"
Speed 3 went straight to video.
Loose slips sink ships.
On the good ship BBC,
We control everything you see
Where bon mots may
Substitute for journalism ev'ry day.
Three minutes earlier during his tour of the bridge, little Jimmy asked, "What happens if I push this button?"
I blame the Bush tax cuts.
"Aiiiieeeee, it's Keyser Soze!"
I think we're going to need a bigger dock.
"Aaarrrrrrrr, matey. What's the use of makin' 'em walk the plank if it lets out right on the dock?"
What are Jesse James and the gang at Monster Garage up to this week?
It's a maritime metaphor for blue state politics -- listing to port, taking on water and sinking fast.
That's a strange way to prepare for Hurricane Isabel.
Somewhere, Shelley Winters and Gene Hackman are preparing for The Poseidon Adventure III.
If the boat is a rockin', don't come a knockin'.
"B-19."
"You sunk my luxury cruise ship!"
"When a ship gets an infestation of those buffalo-sized bilge rats, watch out!"
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor,
Early in the mornin'?
No one quite understood how General Clark's idea of scuttling the luxury cruise fleet would lead to the pacification of Iraq, but the crowd of DNC faithful thought he looked great explaining it.
"Get me four more Scopalamine patches! Now!"
Ooo, that's going to leave a mark!
Andy Crocker:
"I said Quartermaster, not Quarterhorse!"
Allison:
American Airlines pilots re-trained after rehab.
Donald Sutherland:
Well... I suppose that's one way to unload cargo and passengers.
Keith:
Michael Moore steps aboard a charter ship to begin his personal investigation into widespread rumors of a half-eaten Twinkie floating somewhere in San Diego Bay.
Bruce Henderson:
There were a few bugs to work out in the tilt-to-board design.
Daryl Parker:
"Doc, Gopher - who the hell let you drive???"
Meanwhile, in Bill Gates's bathtub...
Whoa dude! now that's what I call a bitchin riff!
OK, so I failed parallel parking...
Laura Lowe:
This is worse then when I tried to parallel park.
Rick Greene:
"All passengers will please disembark on the starboard side. Please don't forget to tip the captain before you leave."
Matthew Antoline:
Michael Moore insists on boarding first and ruins the damn cruise for everyone.
Russ Emerson:
Putting all the buffet tables on the same side of the cruise ship is generally regarded as a bad idea.
"Iceberg, hell... try explaining an asphault-berg!"
Kevin Murphy:
For some unknown reason, the Rush Limbaugh Cruise never can leave port.
"Welcome aboard, Mr. Moore."
"oops!"
Producers ignored early warning signs and made Speed 2 anyway.
Any docking job you can walk away from is a good one.
"I meant to do that."
"At least we didn't catch the Norwalk Virus...."
"I told you not to pull that plug!"
"I don't think this is the right way to turn this into a glass bottomed boat"
John Godoy:
Despite attempts by the navigator to portray the heading as being far-left, the helmsman maintains that it is in fact centrists by Vermont standards.
Dwayne Warren:
"As Michael Moore was exiting the good ship lollipop..."
David:
"Roseanne, we told you not to stand on the same side of the boat as John Goodman!"
Michael Preedin:
After a week-long binge on the Love Boat's final cruise, Captain Steubing has to like his chances of getting that dream job at Exxon.
Howard:
You're that Captain Hazelwood?!?
Kurt Preston:
Reason #43 against ethanol based fuels - drunken cargo ships.
Another bad idea from DARPA, a prototype RORO (Roll On/Roll Off) assualt landing ship which was considered a qualified success.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"It's okay, you sweet child; Michael Jackson is here!" - KDANTEATER
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Charles Austin:
"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help!"
"Spirited Away" -- in real life!
Ms. Burton from Child Protective Services made a mental note (the 84th such note today) to follow up on this family who must clearly be abusing this child to make her cry so at the touch of another human.
"The women, how much for the women? How much for the little girl?"
Chucky's sister!
Jericho:
There there, it's ok little girl. If your head swells enough you too can work for the TSA.
Michael Preedin:
"Wahhh! I hate white crackhead cops!"
....a moment with Easycure
Chris O'Donnell:
The new "softer" image of the federal airport security guards doesn't seem to be working.
Kurt Preston:
I see Ghostbusters 3: Bride of the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man is out on DVD this week...
KDANTEATER:
"Dr. Bobble-head will see you now."
"Hey, you aren't my real mommy!"
"I'm your friend. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Now rememeber, Sara, this is what happens when you do not eat your veggies."
"The people at the plastic surgery clinic said that nobody would notice!"
Mascot: "Come on kiddie, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party!" [with respects to The Producers]
Nobody seemed to notice Commander Licorice Stick, champion of justice and righteousness, standing in the background.
Why did I waste my third wish on this!?
Hello, I am John Ashcroft's friend, Big Brother. Have you ever been a radical terrorist, little girl? Do you have connections to any Muslim organizations? Do you have connections to any scum bag social justice organizations or stupid environmental agencies? You can tell me anything, little girl. I'm your friend.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
The real reason all those sea turtles in Greece are suicidal. - Tanya
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Michael Preedin:
Guard 1: "You think that hot chick will call me if I give her my number?"
Guard 2: "I doubt it, we're wearing clown shoes and tights!"
Julie C:
Hmmm, matching ass-covering outfits. What a revolutionary idea!
Tourists can't get enough of the silly soldier outfits.
Yoohoo, guys! Can I distract you from your marching like a cheeky little girl?
"Must... put... leg... down!"
Daryl Parker:
The Hanson brothers finally get revenge on their sister for stealing their hair ties...
Greeks hold rally for the inclusion of Synchronised Clowning for Athens 2004 Olympics...
...News today in Greece that conscription has finally been given the ass.
Now, I've heard of Greek Style, but....
Greek military sends in secret weapon after being laughed off the battlefield.
Charles Austin:
Interesting uniform...
I don't think Leonidas would have been very impressed.
Ray Eckhart:
Greek is in. French is out.
"Hello Carson? We have an emergency here."
Johnna Chaffin:
Even during guard duty, Wayne and Garth are distracted long enough to say "Schwing!"
John Burgess:
Greek Cheek...
Bret Ryckmen:
"Nice shoes."
Laura Lowe:
"Look at the sweet American booty!"
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
