Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"Can you believe they picked Ellen Degeneres...! My God! Just look at me! I was made for the part!" - Bruce Henderson
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Tanya:
"For the last time, I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" [Ed. - Now, that one over there, OTOH....]
xkot:
"You mean all I had to do was THIS to avoid that whole Monica deal?"!
Bill Altreuter:
"Pictures?! I didn't know there were pictures!"
Ron Ceval:
"Heh, heh, heh... Damn, Hillary, that's the best impersonation of Monica I've ever seen."
Donald Sutherland:
"Where did you get this picture of Vince Foster and me doing the Lambada!?!"
Bert:
"You mean he slept with both of you, too? At the same time!?! Why, I could just strangle him!"
Daryl Parker:
Let's see Monica get her mouth open this wide!"
"Colin Powell is actually Jimmy Walker?!?"
Payback's a bitch - Hillary describes her night with John Holmes.... [Ed. - Must! not! make! dead-guy! joke!]
Julie C:
"They offered you ten million dollars to write your memoirs?!?"
"You think you can buy my support for this measly amount?!?"
"Bill gave you this photo of us on our honeymoon? I can't believe it!"
"What snivelling, sicko Photoshop artist did you get to make this photo of me with Monica and Bill?!"
"You gave me a '6' during the last Senate Wet T-shirt contest?!? The nerve!"
Thomas Crowell:
That's right, Mrs. Clinton. When you sold your soul to get elected, you neglected to read in the fine print that we could collect at any time. Now pay up, you old hag!
Laura Lowe:
"I'm just trying to be a little more like Monica," Hilary explained.
Charles Austin:
Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.
Dude, this has been Photoshopped. That paper she's holding is like, so fake.
Insert Monica joke here.
How do you think I got these pearls?
Mrs. Clinton reacts to the news that being elected to the Senate isn't about political power, popularity, doing great works or any of that other stuff. Like Mr. Show said, it's all about blow jobs.
Bruce Henderson:
"I cannot believe Elizabeth Dole is moving to New York to run!"
"Bill also laughed at the idea that I could keep up with Monica until I showed him.... this!"
"I could be your running mate if I did what?!?"
" .....and it's been stuck ever since!"
"You're kidding, you mean that I could have made twice as much as a Senator from California?"
[Reading joke silently] ....'is that Tuttie Green.' 'no, the minister said, it's just the way the light is shining on it'
[Aloud] "Joe!"
"I can't believe my negatives are this high!"
"Another photo in the limosine! What are the little people going to think?"
"You're recommending Bill Clinton for Senator from New York!"
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"I bet I could stick my whole head up there," Tom inserted. - JD Hays
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
J Bowen:
"Sushi tonight?"
O.F. Jay:
"Honey, if you do not look forward THIS INSTANT, you're not getting any tonight."
Charlie Dillon:
Matching shirts, differing desires.
M.C. 900ft halfnakedunderwearmodel
Lex:
"Attack of the 50-foot Woman," of course.
Daryl Parker:
"Hey! Somebody get that guy a bib!!!!"
"Comes in all sizes?"
Here we can observe the shy and timid female of the species 'gigantus camel-toeus.'
"Holy Cow! she's so big you'd have to go up on her!"
Samuel Henry:
"Momma Mia, thats a spicy meatball!!"
"Man, I'll bet that tastes like sweet nectar"
"Keep dreaming buddy, I eat guys like you for breakfast!"
"Say, honey, how about sushi tonight?"
Laurence Simon:
"If you talk into a clown's head at Jack in the Box, then this is what you talk into at the Victoria's Secret drive-through window...."
Bret Ryckmen:
"Hey, you've got something on your leg."
Kevin McGehee:
"Suddenly I'm reliving birth trauma...."
Charles Austin:
Your dreams can come true on Fandecie Island!
"Say dear, since you got to pick the shirts, I get to pick the underwear."
They'll do anything to sell Embryos.
I guess things are loosening up in Tehran these days.
"Just wait until Orrin Hatch can destroy your computer for downloading me three times."
Victoria's No Longer Secret.
"Say dear, look at the fine stitchwork on these flowers."
Sean Martin:
"I LOVE America!!"
"HOLLEEWOOOOD!!!!"*
Alyx Parker:
"Hmm, something smells a little fishy around here." [Ed. - Uugghh!!]
Daniel Taylor:
"Wow! That's the second biggest vagina I've ever seen!"
bornrocket:
"Lessee, if I take 4 bottles of Viagra a day...."
Kevin Baker:
"Man! She shaves that thing smoother than a baby's bottom!"
David Hines:
"Please, oh, please let that picture be life-sized."
Martin:
"Come here little man."
Bruce Henderson:
"Do you smell anything??"
Mr. Yamamoto was about to find out one of the disadvantages (advantages, depending on your viewpoint) of living in Lilliput.
"Tons of mons...."
"Honey, have you ever considered a threesome?"
"I spy something that is very soft blue."
Richard Molpus:
"Ok, she likes me more than my girlfriend, but will it last? I mean, what happens when the poster changes? She'll turn into one of those snobby women with an upturned nose and no smile.... Besides, finding a pub that'll let her in the door dressed like that'd be impossible!"
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
"If I had a dollar for every time I've had to sit and wait for some bozo to finish his job, I'd only have 1/154,232 of the money I actually have." - Charles Austin
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
Laurence Simon:
I hate coming to the slave auctions these days... not a one with good teeth
or a strong back today.
Kevin McGehee:
The Donald holds auditions for his next wife.
Sean Martin:
"Why don't the peanut vendors ever come through this section?"
Russ Emerson:
Annoyed at not being the center of attention, The Donald tries out his new "Il Duce, seated" pose.
Dwayne Warren:
"A photographer was able to catch the probe lights from the UFO ships that
would beam up Donald Trump, known to them as the Mighty Elixir."
Daryl Parker:
"At least that thing is distracting everyone's attention from my porn star moustache."
"Excuse me, Mr.Trump - it appears a gopher has unwittingly died on your head!"
"What do you mean it cost me less to get rid of Ivana?!?"
"Non, non, monsieur! If you hadn't paid for the pageant they would all still find you attractive!"
Samuel Henry:
"My gosh, can you believe how flexible she is!"
Jim Beckley:
"Ok, Donnie, I offered the girls 50k each to come out like a G8 protestor. Let’s see if we get a taker...."
Michael Van Winkle:
"That's right... wiggle it... just a little bit...!"
Charles Austin:
Ned Flanders offers some scrump-deli-icious advice to the Donald on making candy apples for the next Church picnic.
"Splunge, sir."
"I'm telling you Don, these two chicks to my left want us."
If only Rembrandt were still alive to paint this.
"I think I'll buy this place and turn it into Condos."
So that's who they based the Merovingian character on.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
Weekly Caption Contest
Winning Entry:
Whitney gets giggly when she first meets the voice of Disney's Little Mermaid. - Mark Mills
Also-Rans (in no particular order):
David Hines:
"One of these things is not like the others..."
Kevin McGehee:
"And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I will alllllllllllwayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys love Jewwwwwwwwwwwwws!" [Ed. - Grrrroooo-aaaa-nnnn!!!!]
"I'm sorry, Miss Houston, but 'Hava Nagila' is not the Israeli national anthem, and we don't have professional baseball here."
Whitney Houston visits Israel to help plug her main squeeze's new Yiddish rap CD, "Yo Dawg Shlomo."
aK:
Bobby and Whit visit the Orlando wax museum.
Colin MacDougall:
"If I, I should stay, I would only be in your waaaaay...."
Ron Ceval:
"Psst, Ariel. Whussup with the blue tie, man?"
Alan Kurth:
Whitney, Bobby, and Ariel stop for a photo op before they head into Tel Aviv's hippest nightclub for a night of booze and cocaine.
"I hope the two of you didn't forget to bring the coke and Ecstacy."
Daryl Parker:
Pimpin' with The Browns...
Charles Austin:
That's the biggest yarmulke I've ever seen. And the biggest putz.
So that's what it took to make Ariel Sharon a sympathetic figure.
What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
Too hot to handle, too cold to hold, they're called Likudniks and they're in control.
Which of these things is not like the other?
Bobby looks awfully uncomfortable.
I guess Ariel didn't think he'd look good in red.
Note the different responses to the question to Bobby Brown, "Are you circumsized?"
Whitney and Bobby just heard about the little white lines on the roadmap to peace.
Omar the tent maker has been very busy lately.
I... I... I... I... I will always love Jews.... [Ed. - Oh, the pain, the pain.</Dr. Smith voice>]
The United Colors of Arik Sharon.
Sharon: "No, I am not going to wear a doily. Do you think I'm high or something?"
Everything was going pretty well until Ariel started to do the moonwalk and wouldn't stop saying, "Who's bad?"
Mark Mills:
Isn't this the first picture of two spoiled socialites meeting with a goverment leader published in a conservatve Jew-run media service? [Ed. - Since I'm not Jewish, I assume he isn't referirng to this website.]
The Ambassadors Brown continue their government-leaders tour in pursuit of their goal of world-peace through massive cocaine abuse.
Mr. Sharon bears the brunt of the Brown's relationship's unfortunate, simultaneous reaching of both the "we look cute when we dress alike" and "let's visit wartorn countries for attention" stages.
Thanks to all who entered. Please see the main blog for this week's Contest Photo.
