Here comes The Willy Boy Brigade - and the all have "strap-ons". - Rags.

The young soldiers practiced surrendering with their arms up, led by their French instructor. - Susanna Cornett.

Iraqi boot camp: fresh recruits crowd around their French drill sergeant during surrender exercises. - Jason Garrett.

"Look! A French journalist!" - John Anberg.

"That's enough surrender practice for today, lads." - Doug Morris.

"And here we see Iraqi recruits at drill in basic military conduct..." - Vincent Giannini.

Week 3 of the Iraqi Army boot camp is given over entirely to surrender practice. - Charles Austin.

"This time when an American journalist appears, surrender like you mean it!! - Donald Sutherland.

At the Iraqi Army's basic training facility, recruits learn their most important skill as Drill Instructors bellow the command, "Company, Suren-Duh!". - Tony Adragna.

Simon says, Give up! - Vincent Giannini.

Saddam's mood turned ugly as he watched his Republican guard practice their new mass surrender manuever. - Mike O.

Unconditional Surrender, the Iraqi-produced musical, began it's two day run in Baghdad last night. SRO - Brent Thurman.

The vaunted Republican Guard practices surrendering. - Jason Garrett.

Iraqi soldiers participate vigorously in their surrender practice. - Mike O.

"Okay, now -- what do we do when the Americans arrive? Very good!" - Kevin McGehee.

"OK, boys. Next we'll practice surrendering with all of our clothes off." - Vincent Giannini.

In anticipation of Coalition strikes, Saddam's Elite Guard practice for the first time since the Gulf War, the "I surrender" manoeuvre... - Daryl Parker.

Saddam's new anti-tank squad start training in earnest! - Patrick Parsons.

New military recruits practicing the Iraqi salute. - Donald Sutherland.

Tonight only! Live Male Revue! The Iraqi Hokie Pokie players perform their "Surrender Dance" at the Baghdad Civic Center (soon to be a bomb shelter)!! - Mike O.

You put your right foot in
You take his right foot out
You put your left foot in
And we shake it all about
And if you survive
The Saddam Re-gime intact
We didn't do our job! - Susanna Cornett.

The Hokie Pokie is what it's all about. - Mike O.

"Now do the Hokey Pokey..." - Doug Morris.

You put your recruits in, you pull your recruits out, you put your recruits in, and you shake 'em all about... - Charles Austin.

It's like the Hokey Pokey, except everyone dies in the end. - Rhonda.

Republican Guards doing the Hokie Iraqi Pokie. - Mike O.

"OOOHHHH! THE HOKEY POKEY!!!" - Daryl Parker.

"Who wants to meet some virgins?" - Doug Morris.

Suddenly, Abdul realized that martyrdom had been a terrible mistake as his 72 virgins gathered around him. - Charles Austin.

In a special Islamic dispensation of Last Rites and Rewards, Saddam gets his 72 virgins before dying. - Dan Dickinson.

After pulling the rip-cord, Yasser wakes up in Paradise. - Laurence Simon.

"When you get to America, you'll need to know how to do 'the wave'.... Good!" - Doug Morris.

All it took was "The Wave" to get Iraqis motivated to fight the infidel. - Will Vehrs.

Worst. Wave. Ever. - Bret Ryckmen.

They still haven't quite figured out "the wave" in Iraq. - Charles Austin.

Easy Glide-Deodorant: 100 Israeli soldiers smell better than one Arafat. - michele.

NEWS FLASH: U.N. inspectors today discovered Saddam's secret source of Iraqi bio-chemical warfare agent. - Vincent Giannini.

"Underarms clean? Good. Now for the short-arm check." - Doug Morris.

Secretly smuggled photograph of Iraq's latest bio-weapon: BO. - Charles Austin.

{Sniff. Sniff. Sniff.} "All right, who made doody pants?" - Vincent Giannini.

Saddam's irrational cleanliness issues lead to the silliest of armpit inspections. - JulieC.

Weekly World News reveals an early Iraqi experiment in chemical warfare. However the plan was scrapped when it was decided American troops were unlikely to let an entire brigade of unbathed Iraqi soldiers get quite this close. - Kevin McGehee.

The Guiness record was set this week for "Smelliest 300 square feet on earth." - Bret Ryckmen.

"Very good, men. Now let's see whether you washed behind those ears." - Vincent Giannini.

Auditions for the Baghdad revival of Hair! - Charles Austin.

The new musical Jihad has not gone over as well as expected this year. - Rhonda.

Despite the cast's hard work and long hours of rehearsal, the Chorus Show at Tropicana Resort & Casino Baghdad was only sparsely attended. - Vincent Giannini.

Coming to Broadway in Summer 2003: Don't Ask, Don't Tell, a musical comedy about homosexaulity in the U.S. Army. - Mary Goldsmith.

Ballet Republican Guard demonstrates new choreography: Dance of the Seven Flails. - Vincent Giannini.

Opening (and closing) night of the Revolutionary Guard's production of Cats. - Charles Austin.

No, no, no! It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right. With your hands on your hips. You do the 'Time Warp' with your hands on your hips! - Vincent Giannini.

Everything was going perfectly in our barrack's production of A Chorus Line when suddenly, a black hole spontaneously came into existence on the right side of the stage." - Charles Austin.

Scrums are more fun the more guys ya got. - Doug Morris.

"What? Something about being the middle-man in a hundred-man what? " - Charles Austin.

Iraqui Army's latest shirt lottery starts a near-riot as the winner is announced. - Patrick Parsons.

"Who's shirtless?" - Bret Ryckmen.

Faced with intense defense by the Skins, the Shirts were held scoreless. - Vincent Giannini.

To fire up for the grandmother of all battles with America, the entire regiment puts hands together in a circle, shouts in unison, and throws their hands up in defiance, having unfortunately drawn "skins." - Andrew Hagen.

"I guess those UN inspectors really are looking everywhere this time." - Charles Austin.

Saddam's forces submit to U.N. arms inspection. - Vincent Giannini.

"Who wants ice cream?"
"Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me...!" - Doug Morris.

"OK guys. Raw spaghetti... raw spaghetti... Hold it... Cooked spaghetti! All fall down!" - Mark Gullick.

Even Iraqi boys beg for Dodd's attention.... - JulieC.

"The Ipse Dixit 2nd anniversary party was a smashing success." - Bret Ryckmen.

The crowd wanting a tattoo "just like Dodd's" was beginning to get unruly. - Will Vehrs.

"Oh Lord, Kum-ba-yah." - Charles Austin.

"If you're happy and you know it, raise your hands! If you're happy and you know it, raise your hands! If you're happy and you know it then your face will surely show it, if you're happy and you know it, raise your hands!" - Kevin McGehee.

"It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!" - Charles Austin.

Dan Dickinson never expected these guys to show up for National Ammo Day. - Will Vehrs.

"Full Rubber Jacket" - Dan Dickinson.

"Ready? That wacko on the fifth floor is about to drop a baby!" - Doug Morris.

"Do you think Saddam has weird Busby Berkley fantasies, or what? " - Charles Austin.

Saddam received 200% of the vote from new recruits in the last election. - Charles Austin.

Charles Austin's worst nightmare: The Richard Cohen Fan Club assembles in his front yard. - Will Vehrs.

Who likes Sine Qua Non Pundit's scourges of Richard Cohen? - Vincent Giannini.

"Why do I want to say, 'Condoms dipped in bacon grease?'" - Dan Dickinson. [Ed. - that's a very good question.]

Young Iraqi soldiers flock to Amir Al Fuzzee's chest hair seminars. - Will Vehrs.

Klepto the Magnificent was beginning to wonder about the wisdom of taking his hypnosis act on the road to Baghdad. - Charles Austin.

Again revealing flagrant disregard for his own people, Saddam demonstrates his new secret weapon -- the mother of all vacuum cleaners -- on his own military recruits. "We will show the Americans how greatly we suck on the fields of battle," proclaimed the Iraqi dictator. - Vincent Giannini.

Iraqi army recruits respond to the question "Who is here because they or their family was threatened with torture and death?" - Mike O.

Saddam's Personal Bodyguards get used to even more cutbacks! - Patrick Parsons.

Wait... I know it! They're cheering that part in the movie where Lee Ermy as Sgt. Hartman yells at Cowboy that line about, "I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would &^%$! a person in the *#~! and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around!!" - Dan Dickinson.

With the crowd pressing against the registration desk, JulieC began to regret opening her class up to Saudi exchange students. - Will Vehrs.

Slate's new setup makes the boys positively crazy! - JulieC.

Barbara Streisand got attacked at her most recent speaking event. Not because the men were gay, but because she's a fucking idiot. - Bret Ryckmen.

Sitting there, faces enshrouded in darkness, the Iraqi officers could leer at the men's pert little upturned nipples with impunity. - Vincent Giannini.

The itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the waterspout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out... - Vincent Giannini.

Preparing for battle, The Republican Guard performs the ritual 'Jerking of the Circular Blowing.' - Dan Dickinson.

Where's Waldo? - Vincent Giannini.

"Who volunteers to be the plaything of Nancy Pelosi and her minority whip?" - Vincent Giannini.

"Everyone who thinks Saddam should grow a goatee, raise your hand." - Bret Ryckmen.

The commander of Iraq's Republican Guard requests volunteers to infiltrate Hooters. - Kevin McGehee.

"Ok, on to this Sunday's pot luck. Who wants to be put down for quiche?" - Bret Ryckmen.

"OK, now who can count to ten?" - Vincent Giannini.

"Ok, so everyone from the country that's going to get the shit kicked out of them, raise your hand, please." - Bret Ryckmen.

"All those wishing to be excused from the war, please raise your hands." - Vincent Giannini.

"I see the Light. I see the Light. Praise the Lord. I see the Light." - Vincent Giannini.

Finding themselves decidedly poor competitors at strip combat, the Iraqis suddenly gave up en masse after only the second round. - Vincent Giannini.

First thing every morning, Sgt. Abdul inspected the troops' palms for new hair growth. - Vincent Giannini.

The troops are always keen to play "keep away." (Here Pvt. Ahmed has cleverly hidden the melanoma in the small of his back.) - Vincent Giannini.

Saddam's most recent anti-aircraft defense strategy proves ineffective against U.S.-British airstrikes. - Vincent Giannini.

Wait'll you see her interns.... - David Hines.

"C'mon, baby, make it hurt so good!" - Charles Austin.

VH-1's Where Are They Now: The chick from the Devo video "Whip It". - Laurence Simon.

Ms. Pelosi stands at rapt attention as they play her theme song, Devo's "Whip It Good". - JulieC.

Yes, I do intend to whip it good! - Susanna Cornett.

I'm leaving all the strap-on jokes for Rags.... - Dan Dickinson.

"I hear Will Vehrs is here...! Come here, Willy Boy, I have something for you!" - Rags.

"And I'm going to use this on the next caption writer that mentions Mapplethorpe." - Charles Austin.

New House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, refusing to back down from being known as a "San Francisco liberal," pays tribute to Robert Mapplethorpe's influence. - Will Vehrs.

"Nope, that wasn't it. There is still something else up my butt..." - MDHaines.

Nancy Pelosi shows off her Robert Mapplethorpe commemorative bullwhip for the press. - Rebecca Meyer.

"Minority Leader by day, Whip by night...." - Mark Dahley.

The former Minority Whip relinquishes the whip used to keep the minority in line. - Charles Austin.

Since Ms. Pelosi took the Minority Whip title so literally, the Congressional Black Caucus and the Congressional Hispanic Caucus were beginning to get concerned about how she would interpret her new title of Minority Leader. - Charles Austin. [Ed. - Groan!]

Overheard in the basement of the House (of Pain) before the Democrats elected their new Minority Leader, "Of course I'll be voting for you Mistress Nancy." - Charles Austin.

Mistress Nancy is in the House. - MO.

Who wants to be dominated today?! - JulieC.

Cat-o'-Nine-Tails.... - Dan Dickinson.

Single dominant transexual looking for submissive feminine male slave. - Brent Thurman.

"As your new dominatrix, I promise a Rosie in every shackle! A Babs in every leather bustier! A functional nose-ring and lead on Alec Baldwin! Wait, wait...! Why is everyone running away screaming?!" - Susanna Cornett.

"Some in our caucus has been bad, bad boys," noted House Minority Dominatrix Nancy Pelosi. - Will Vehrs.

"It has come to my attention that some in the caucus have been using the term 'Nancy-boy' in a pejorative manner..." - Kevin McGehee.

"Who wants to play 'Naughty Congressman' with Mistress Nancy?" - Charles Austin.

Bill Clinton rethinks his new S&M fetish. - John Anberg.

(Through clenched teeth) No, Bill, I won't meet you in your office later, whip or no whip!" - Susanna Cornett.

"And they thought I was kidding when I told them that I was going to 'whip them into shape.'" - MO.

She's happy to lash
San Francisco liberals.
It's just what they like. - Will Vehrs.

"No, ma'am. You don't actually get to whip people." - Bret Rykmen.

"Does hubby have a surprise coming when he asks for his spanking today...!" - JulieC.

"Did someone say, 'Spank me'?" - JulieC.

"Say hello to my little friend." - Charles Austin.

"They can have my bullwhip when they pry it out of my cold dead hands." - Charles Austin.

When bullwhips are regulated, only regulators will have bullwhips. - Charles Austin.

"I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and bullwhip of a king." - Charles Austin.

"Meow. I'm a pussycat. Really! Well, a pussycat with a whip, but still, a pussycat." - Charles Austin.

Photogenic smile,
And some centrist talking points,
Liberal whipping. - Will Vehrs.

"Hazing the newly-elected Congresspersons is among our finest traditions. I call dibs on Katherine Harris." - Fritz Schranck.

"Ooooh, I like the feel of my new job." - Will Vehrs.

"Oh yeah, I am going to make them beg for it, heh heh heh heh." - MO.

Despite the levity of the moment, Nancy couldn't help but reflect on the way things had turned out. How differently things would have gone had Dick Gephardt not misunderstand her desire to be the Whip in the House.... - Kilroy.

The new Dick-less House Democrat leadership. - Charles Austin. [Ed. - Gro-o-an!]

"Dick didn't know dick about using this," Pelosi said ominously. - Will Vehrs.

Unclear on the concept, the new Minority Leader demands that Gary Condit give her a 'Full Frontal Fisking.' - Dan Dickinson.

Is that Gary Condit in drag? - Charles Austin.

"Your turn, Trent." - Bret Rykmen.

"Ai! Ai!" wailed Tom DeLegolas. "A Balrog! A Balrog is come!" - Charles Austin.

A smiling Nancy Pelosi refused to comment on her unusual relationship with arch-foe Tom Delay. - Will Vehrs.

"Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks. Oops, sorry, I was channeling Dan Rostenkowski." - Charles Austin.

"I thought Governor Ventura would send me a ten pound can of Whup-Ass," said a surprised Minority Leader Pelosi. - Will Vehrs.

"Where's my boy, Harold?" asked the victorious Pelosi. - Will Vehrs.

"I'm not going to tell her this isn't Singapore. You tell her, Harold." - Charles Austin.

"First of all, I want to thank Barney Frank for his suggestions." - Will Vehrs.

"If Terry McAuliffe calls me 'Babe' one. More. Time...!" - MDHaines.

"Coming up next week on Oprah, newly elected House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi tells of her wild weekend with Marv Alpert...." - Kevin McGehee.

"When he's through with Barry Bonds, maybe he'll chain me up!" - MDHaines.

I'm leaving all the Indiana Jones jokes for Vehrs.... - Dan Dickinson.

Rhett wasn't sure if the new overseer would turn the Dem plantation around.... - Will Vehrs. [Ed. Not an Indiana Jones joke, but close enough.]

"You like me! You really, really like me!" - Kevin McGehee.

And I thought it was scary when Sean Young went on TV to convince Hollywood she should be cast as Catwoman... - David Hines.

It was mean of the Joker to trick Ms. Pelosi into diving into the vat of chemicals that disfigured him. - Charles Austin.

"Oh, please let them pick for a part in Nancy Does Natchez!" - JulieC.

Nancy Pelosi as Ramrod Rowdy Yates. - Dan Dickinson.

"I'd like to thank all the little people I whupped into bloody doll rags to get ahead..." - Kevin McGehee. [Ed. - Don't worry, Rags. He doesn't mean you.]

"Don't make me stop this Government!" - Charles Austin.

"What!!? We didn't win back the House? What the Hell was I thinking...?" - MDHaines.

The kinder, gentler, Democratic House leadership. - Charles Austin.

The House Democrats weren't just beaten in the elections, they were whipped. - MO.

The most powerful Democrat in Congress is dressed in bright red, forcing a smile, and holding a bullwhip. And everyone else in the room is looking at something to her right. Hmm... - Charles Austin.

I want real loyalty. I want sombody who will kiss my ass in Macy's window, and say it smells like gardenias!" - Dan Dickinson.

Ms. Pelosi can't stop thinking of Dodd's anniversary surprise.... - JulieC.

Rep. Pelosi latches onto a women's issue we can all agree on... - Daryl Parker.

"I don't know what the contest is, but have you ever seen anyone more desperately wishing to themselves, 'Pick me, pick me!'" - Charles Austin.

"Don't try to understand 'em. Just rope, throw and brand 'em. Soon we'll be livin' high and wide!!" - Dan Dickinson.

"I will now demonstrate how I get all those rich Silicon Valley types to fork over the campaign money in spite of my Leninist political views." - Kevin McGehee.

"Damn, now he's taking off his shorts.... I should have brought more Ones.... " - MDHaines.

"Oh no! Possible sexual deviation! Get her, my Conservative Christian Friends!!" - Bret Rykmen.

"Just one wafer thin mint, Mr. Creosote-san?" - Charles Austin.

"Oh! But, monsiour, it's just one thin wafer!" - Daryl Parker.

"Say! That's some strike-zone you got there, Four-Eyes!" - Dan Dickinson.

"Damn, I guess everything's an inside pitch for you, Akibono." - Charles Austin.

Barry meets the new manager for the San Francisco "Giants." - John Anberg.

"So you're the new catcher, huh? Looks like you'll have no trouble covering home plate. Just one thing: don't eat the base runners." - Kevin McGehee.

"You're our new centerfielder?" - Charles Austin.

"If we replace Shinjo with him, will anyone notice?" - John Anberg.

The Giants star was particularly impressed by the quality of steroids ingested by sumo wrestlers. - Will Vehrs.

"No I have not considered sumo wrestling as a second profession.... Next question?" - MDHaines.

"Hey let me finish this blunt and then we will sumo it." - Mary Goldsmith.

"Excuse me, Chuck? Could I see the video of my second choice one more time?" - MDHaines.

"Do you expect me to talk?"
"Why no, Mr. Bonds, I expect you to die." - Charles Austin.

"I can't. Something big's come up." - Dan Dickinson.

"Hi, I'm Plenty O'Toole."
"Named after your father perhaps?" - Dan Dickinson.

"You seem to be lying on my loose change." - Dan Dickinson.

Casting: Bonds and Odd Job. - Dan Dickinson.

"Apparently, you pissed off that headhunter from Beetlejuice, too, didn't you?" - Charles Austin.

"Four fried chickens, and a coke...." - Daryl Parker.

"All I said was, 'Boy, I'd sure love to see you chain up Princess Leia again!' Then she slugged me...." - MDHaines.

"You remember Return of the Jedi?"
"Holy Shit! Jabba the Hut! I knew you looked familiar." - JPM.

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere. Yes, even between the land and the ship." - Mark Mills.

"Wow, and I thought only Godzilla ate Volkswagens for breakfast." - Kevin McGehee.

I think that the fat guy wants to use the dude next to him as a basketball. - Mary Goldsmith.

"If you put on a pair of skates, I bet you'd make the perfect hockey goalie." - Charles Austin.

It looks like they are going to start a new Special Oympics category in Tokyo.... - Mary Goldsmith.

"Just tell me if my feet are still there and I'll give you some crack." - Laurence Simon.

"Sit down gently, please. I forgot my parachute." - Kevin McGehee.

"Coach? She's sitting on my bat.... And my glove... and my uniform... and my car...." - MDHaines.

"Damn, you're almost as big as Roger Ebert!" - Charles Austin.

"Damn, you're almost as big as David Wells!" - Charles Austin.

"Have you seen my son? About this tall... he was sitting right next to me a few minutes ago...." - Ari Kahn.

"Damn, 'just eat the media when they piss you off.' Now why didn't I think of that?" - Charles Austin.

"Coach? Cancel that second Whopper™ for me, will you?" - MDHaines.

"I think it's time for you to seriously consider salad." - Kevin Jacox.

"Let me tell you about this new diet I'm on. I lost 800 pounds in just three weeks!" - Kevin McGehee.

"For the last time, no, I don't have anything to eat. Now leave me alone you skinny bastard!" - Mark Mills.

"Psst. Hey, buddy, my wife tells me black makes me look thinner, but in your case, I don't think it's working." - Andrew Hagen.

After seeing who his partner was, Barry decided not to show him his Lay-Z-Boy™ in the locker room. - John Anberg.

"I've never won the big one, either," the Japanese star confessed. - Will Vehrs.

"And if I reach for my ear like this, that means you should steal home." - Charles Austin.

Barry Bonds, right, telling how when the third-base coach tugs his left ear, that means the runner is coming home, so get out of the way to the San Francisco Giants' new, invulnerable batboy, left.- Andrew Hagen.

The jovial Barry Bonds is a decided underdog in the International "Surly Man" contest. - Will Vehrs.

"Yeah, brother, get an earring to go with that pony tail. Stick it to the man. Be yourself." - Will Vehrs.

"You like the earring? It's yours! The hat??!!...." - Dan Dickinson.

"We could have used him for our own rally monkey!" - John Anberg.

"Yes, I know I said I would kiss Miss San Francisco if we went to the World Series, on reflection, however...." - MDHaines.

"Forbidden Love, Part 2 will return in a moment." - Mark Mills.

"I don't care who you are in Japan, you touch my lucky jock again and you're sushi!" - Daryl Parker.

"Burrshit! You no rook rike Gally 'U.S.' Bonds!" - Dan Dickinson.

"Damn, George, I haven't laughed this hard since Ron Brown's funeral!" - Chris O'Donnell.

"I haven't had this much fun since Ron Brown died." - Charles Austin.

"Mr. President, that's very funny, but I really think you should pull up your pants now." - Kevin McGehee.

"...and that's when she grabbed my shoulder and kneed me in the balls like this!" - Sklutch.

Is that his cigar hand? Eww! - Mark Mills.

"Oh. Fritz, those Republicans are going to be so sorry we brought you back! Ha Ha Ha! We'll sure show them!" - Brent Thurman.

Bubba and Fritz celebrate, confident that they're part of a political event that will decide control of the entire Senate. - Spoons.

"Whoops, sorry, just stepped in my own campaign speech." - Sklutch.

Ha ha ha... Dodd Harris predicted we are going to lose the Senate! - Charles Austin.

"We pulled it off! And the best part is that they're blaming the Republicans!" - Rita Smith.

"Tipper calls him 'Pinocchio, the little wooden boy.' That kills me!" - Mark Mills.

"Ahhhh! I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!!" - Daryl Parker.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - Charles Austin.

"WHERE'S THE GRIEF?
WHERE'S THE GRIEF?
WHERE'S THE GRIEF?
(I don't think there's anybody with principles back there.)" - Laurence Simon.

"The women. How much for the women? How much for the little girl?" - Charles Austin.

"This one time, at Camp David..." - Mark Mills.

He who laughs first, cries longest. - Charles Austin.

"You're right, that Ipse Dixit website is pretty damn funny!" - Mary Goldsmith.

"...so the freuline says, 'is that a schnitzengrueber in your lederhosen or are you just glad to see me!!'" - Daryl Parker.

Mondale's thinking to himself, "Jeez, this guy's jokes are just as bad as Carter's were -- and he thinks they are just as funny." - Charles Austin.

... and the punchline is, "James Carville with a garbage can on his head." - Charles Austin.

Underneath his smiling exterior, former Vice President Walter F. Mondale suddenly realizes he was wrong to support gun control after former President Bill Clinton tells an off-color story about his daughter Eleanor. - Kevin McGehee.

"There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in that which they laugh at." - Goethe - Charles Austin.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Gandhi - Charles Austin.

"Hey, Fritz. I bet my Secret Service bodyguards can beat up your Secret Service bodyguards. Oh that's right, you don't have any because you didn't get elected President! Silly me." - Kevin McGehee.

"Interest rates were how high when you were Vice President? And I thought Bush had the worst economy in the last 50 years!" - Charles Austin.

"...and then I squinted, hunched my shoulders, leaned forward, pointed my finger and said, 'I did not have sex with that woman.'" - Charles Austin.

"Joan, who is this loud, pompous, uncouth jerk with his hands all over me?" - Kevin McGehee.

Clinton's answer to "Where do you see yourself in two years?" - "the toilet" - didn't seem prophetic at the time.... - Mark Mills.

If a has-been meet a has-been, comin' through the rye... - Kevin McGehee.

If they're both here at the same time... who's running hell? - Adam Capps.

"Did you see the look on Trent Lott's face when he walked out?!?" - Charles Austin.

"Keep smiling, she's still there!" - Mark Mills.

Doing the Democratic Limbo with Bill and Cohorts. - Sklutch.

"Sing with me, Fritz - 'Hi ho the dairy-o, sing it hi, sing it low, ding dong, the wicked Wellstone's gone...!'" - Brent Thurman.

"I laughed harder when Paul died then I have ever laughed about anything in my life." - Charles Austin.