The sounds of the crowd so overwhelmed her, she didn't realize that John had removed the airpump from her mouth. - JulieC.

"Mind if I balance that soccer ball on the back of my head for a while?" - Alyx Parker.

"Okay, so I haven't had a bath in ten days. Just shut up and kiss me dammit." - Brent Thurman.

World Cup Soccer reintroduces the heaving bosom. - Will Vehrs.

GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!! - Caleb Brown.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL! - Dan Dickinson.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS! - Will Vehrs.

Hey, Will Vehrs... this is for you! If these don't bring you back to the caption contest, then I got nothing. - Rags.

"For the last time lady, Chapstick is an American company, we don't sponsor WorldCup!" - Mark Mills.

Sophia always presented Eduardo with an enticing target for his penalty kicks. - Will Vehrs.

"Okay! I believe you. I guess you really never have given a blow job before." - Brent Thurman.

And the winner of the World Cup(s).... - JulieC.

World Cup Soccer/World Class Cups. - Will Vehrs.

"Ohhh, and if you close your eyes really really tight you can almost taste them...." - Susan Hogan.

And after the acid wears off, Patchouli will drum for peace. - Brent Thurman.

"Yes, the food is that bad over there." - Mark Mills.

Some of Carmen's good luck charms worked better than others. - Will Vehrs.

"Hey you skinny leetle soccer hunk, how's about you try make free shot into my goal, eh?" - Kevin McGehee.

"You just pucker up and... blow!" - JulieC.

She sealed her promise to Section G with a kiss. Suddenly, 2000 drunken male fans started rooting against their own team, hoping to collect. - Will Vehrs.

Sean Penn decides to take his drag show on the road... - Tanya Stay.

With Eva, there was always more scoring in the stands than on the field. - Will Vehrs.

"Soccer? I hardly know her!" - Mark Mills.

Amelia was completely blind to that fact that her mother would see on TV the outfit she'd changed into after leaving home.... - JulieC.

Audition's for Playboy's "The Women of Ipse Dixit" are now open." - Kevin Jacox.

Jeemmy, De reever is dis way. - Rhonda Roberts.

"If you go down to the end of this street, and hang a left, the first bar on the right is where you will find Will Vehrs. Maybe you can cheer him up with that great American smile. He has been in a slump.... He only sent in one entry to Dodd's caption contest last week. We are all worried about the boy." - Rags.

Castro: "Hey, Jim, that bright blue background gives me a headache!"
Carter: "God, I know, I can hardly look in it's direction." - Franklyn Monk.

"No, you stupid American, that's where we hang you." - JulieC.

Sunday in Cuba:
Carter: "Fidel, one more time."
Fidel (singing): "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine!" - Susanna Cornett.

"Now over there is where the pris... homes for the homeless will be built." - Mark Mills.

"Listen, you capitalist pig! Call me 'Santa' one more time, and I'll kick out these cameras and kick your ass!" - Tanya Stay.

"Then I say to him, 'pull my finger.'" - Mark Mills.

"The tour bus for the Ineffective AARPers is over there." - Alyx Parker.

"I can tell by that grimace that it's too late for directions to the men's room." - JulieC.

Castro explains the Cuban early warning defense system to President Carter: "1 if by land; 2 if by sea" - Chris O'Donnell.

HIM (thinking): "Little on the bony side for a porker!"
HER (thinking): "*sigh* Another entry in the 'underarm smell' olfactory gallery.... Why do I have to be so short!?!" - Susanna Cornett.

"Okay George, you can take your hand off my ass now." - Rags.

"You like pork, I like pork barrel projects! The world is our... uh, pig." - Mark Mills.

Unlike former President Clinton, Bush knew her sash was not directions on what to do after the ceremony! - Rhonda Roberts.

"If it weren't for term limits, you'd have the President's hand on your ass right now." - Jason Garrett.

"Forget that Kermit feller, I can make you a star. Or at least Secretary of Homeland Security." - Kevin McGehee.

"There! I snuck a peek down her jacket. No-one noticed!" - JulieC.

"OOH-KLAHOMA! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains...." - Mark Wade.

"See, when I stick my thumb here, his left arm shoots up." - Alyx Parker.

"Damn! I'd like to trim her pork!" - Brent Thurman.

"Loya Jirga? I'll let Brenda here answer that one because she's the expert on recipes." - Will Vehrs.

You just know the dog's name is Princess, you just know it. - Mark Mills.

"Giff mee thee het beck!" - Dan Dickinson.

"What's the matter? Dodd tweak you, too?" - Will Vehrs.

"I understand you are looking for Will Vehrs.... He's the one over there in the jump suit." - Rags.

"Mi chiamo Mario, la mujer pequeña bonita, lei somiglia a un tamale caldo."
(My name is Mario, pretty little woman, you look like a hot tamale to me.) - Susanna Cornett.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You tried to tell the FBI about that scent." - Will Vehrs.

"If me be returnin, the Bosses will do terrible things to me! Tewwwwible things!" - Mark Mills.

"Fired by Taco Bell, the Calupa Chihuahua eeks out a living as a busker ventriloquist on Hollywood Boulevard. Mario pipes up, 'Who you callin' Gordito?!'" - Dan Dickinson.

"Look, there are worse things than being asked to pose as a hot dog." - Will Vehrs.