Eventually, they just gave up on getting any two scuptures that matched. - Mark Mills.

Enronius escapes from the wicked clutches of SEC. - Will Vehrs.

Once the spider proved he could keep the pigeons away, Goldie had no choice but to remove his fig leaf. - Mark Mills.

"Don't shoot! I swear I'm just shooting a Midas Muffler commercial!" - Brent Thurman.

Incoming Mayor Bloomberg's sculpture replacement program gets underway. All NYC sculptures will be gold by 2003. - Will Vehrs.

"Finally, the first ads for Terminator 3 are starting to appear!" - Mark Mills.

Omar Ahkmed jumps for joy at his student-pilot father's first ever landing. - Will Vehrs.

"This is how bad parking is in L.A., any questions?" - Mark Mills.

Vacationers rush to the scene as Amelia Earhardt's plane washes up near Milepost 11. - Will Vehrs.

40 years after disappearing into his nuclear fallout shelter, Grandpa Munster emerges into a brave new world... - Chris O'Donnell.

Grandpa Munster isn't allowed to go to McDonald's playland anymore. - Matt Loomis.

Mos Eisley Spaceport.... You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. - Mark Mills.

Instead of spare change, something far more disturbing emerged from the bottom of Little Jimmy's piggy bank. - Caleb O. Brown.

Professor Phineas demonstrates the hardened Bin Laden latrine during a Special Forces training session. - Will Vehrs.

GGQ's brand of geriatic playboy looks dapper, even in the worst kind of hole-in-the-wall. - Mark Mills.

Dateline: May 8th, 2031 - Osama Bin Laden finally captured - Details at 11:00. - Brent Thurman.

Scrapple Magnate Rupert Persimmons checks out a mock-up of the Russian Space Station. Persimmons has purchased a space trip for $3 million and the rights to his food technology secrets. - Will Vehrs.

An inspection of the interior of the Taliban Submersible Fleet reveals that they are no more sea-worthy than they would appear. - Jeffrey Harris.

One of the most remarkable features of this giant Buddha statue is found here in the rear. - Mark Mills.

Like most TV stars of the 1980s, He-Man suffered a humiliating decline. - Mike Adams.

Continually typecast after The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Peter ("Rocky") Hinwood's career floundered. Desperate and practically destitute, he accepted the offer from Disney on Ice. - Brent Thurman.

Sadly, the pee dance isn't a required move in Olympic Muscle Skating. - Mark Mills.

This is what will happen to you if you don't read Ipse Dixit every day. - Jeffrey Harris.

Don't end up like this guy...Suck up to Dodd when you submit a Caption Contest entry. - Jeffrey Harris.

Not playing Atomica for a day is like getting kicked in the nuts while ice-skating wearing fake muscles & tights. - Jeffrey Harris.

Fake big muscles don't make high-fives hurt any less. - Mark Mills.