Fashion designers seek to please the all-important Mongolian pornographer subsector with their choices of influences this year.
Submitted Alternative:
Saved from the cutting room floor: Scenes from The Dark Crystal that Jim Henson did not want you to see. - Daryl Parker.
"So, the agreement is: I trade you my toupé and the use of my cabin in Aspen in exchange for a pair of driving gloves and an intern to be named later...."
"That reminds me of a really corny joke...."
Submitted Alternative:
"Aw, shucks, ma'am...." - Jeffrey Harris.
"Alice? Are you in there? Alice?!?"
Submitted Alternatives:
"Ohhhhhhh... so that's where that widget goes.... Oops!" - Alyx Parker.
"Sorry, folks, park's closed. The Moose out front shoulda told ya." - Alyx Parker.
Wanna see what else I can do with this squeegee?
Submitted Alternatives:
Despite aging quite a bit, Mr. Clean is still hard at work. - Alyx Parker.
"Fishy fishy fishy fish.... And he went wherever I did go." - Jeffrey Harris.
"Hey! Come back here. My horse is trying to tell you something!"
Submitted Alternatives:
"The inflatable police dolls are working out better than expected for the City of New York!" - Alyx Parker.
Secret photos of a Pat Day training session reveal a darker side to his on-track success. - Jeffrey Harris.
"You think my headgear is funny, do ya?!? Well, do ya?"
Submitted Alternative:
"The jerry-curl instructions said I hafta wear this for two days.... You got a problem with that?" - Jeffrey Harris.
I double dare you to deny that Plato was the father of pre-renaissance existentialist thought! - Daryl Parker.
No-one at the concert was quite sure which instrument she was playing....
Submitted Alternative:
"The cannons weren't the only things going off in Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture!" - Alyx Parker.
"Thanks. Now, do you want me to put this in the Library slush fund, the Legal Defense slush fund, or Hillary's campaign slush fund?"
